[grotbag]

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.

Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that'.






Guide to Dating
-------------------------

Find out what those dating terms really mean

ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with a particular
person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not
entirely choosy people meet.

DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and
energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially
like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as
swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and
dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of
a man.

EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they
are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have
difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to
shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located
in her chest.

FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes
sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE..... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted
by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING..... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do
all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that
initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months
together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY..... how attractive a given person appears to be is
directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC..... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more
often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.







Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a Sports Bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde said, 'Do you think he'll jump?' Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.' The blonde says, 'Well, I bet he won't.' Bob placed a
$20.00 bill on the bar and said. 'You're on.' Just as the blonde placed her $20.00 on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20.00 to Bob, saying, 'Fair is fair. Here's your money.' Bob replied, 'I can't take your money. I saw this on the 5:00 PM news and I knew he would jump.' The blonde replied, 'I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.' Bob took the money.....