I grow weary of the endless back and forth banter battles with Rocks. So I decided to compile a list of 'borrowed' put-downs and get it out of my system.
Rocks is a sheep in sheep’s clothing.
I could drive a bus through any part of his arguments and never scrape against a single fact.
This forum needs Rocks like Van Gough needed stereo.
He has a retail mind in a wholesale business.
If he fell into a river it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out it would be a calamity.
Rocks comes across as a self-made man who worships his creator.
Rocks writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of a dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.
When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes thrown in his face.
He has never been known to use a word that might send the reader to a dictionary.
He talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy with your wife turning the pages.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with him that a miracle can’t fix.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
Rocks-In defeat unbeatable, in victory unbearable.
He is so crooked that if he swallowed a nail, he’d shit a corkscrew.
A few weeks ago Rock’s had a disastrous fire in his library, both books were destroyed. And the real tragedy is that he hadn’t finished colouring one of them.
He has not an enemy in the world, and none of his friends like him.
When Rocks was circumcised, they threw away the wrong part.
