A friend has the occasional ermmm 'mishap' and he doesn't do things by half!!
His latest one had me laughing for ages, so thought I would share it with you all
although I will keep darkwolf's name anonymous 
P.S. read 'Bitch' as bike!
So, there I was, just got done with the mowin, kickin back on the deck with a brew and listenin ta "Southern Rock's Greatest" when, the music just stopped.
So I goes inta the house ta see the CD player a'belchin smoke from the ass-end!
Well, thinkin fast and havin a couple 'o beers in me already, I whup it out right quick and just piss on that fucker thinkin it'll put out the fire.
Well guy's, let me tell ya's, ALWAYS unplug the item in question before pissin on it!
That thar 120VAC run up ma piss, through ma dick, inta ma left arm, (which is still tryin ta heal from the road rash from layin the Bitch down last week), and right on out to the CD player!
Sparks was a'flyin ever which way and I'm screemin like a 16yr. old virgin with a horse cock dug inta her!
I finally get ma foot wrapped around the cord and yank out the plug.
But, everythin worked out OK,
The 120VAC cauterized the hole in ma arm, and every time I use the remote control, I gets a hardon!
Only problem now is, whenever I have sex, the fuckin CD player comes on!!!!!!!!