Golf

[grotbag]

A Catholic Priest, an Indian Doctor, a rich Chinese Businessman and an Aussie were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Aussie fumed, 'What's with those blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!'

The Indian Doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'

The Chinese Businessman called out 'Move it, time is money'

The Catholic Priest said, 'Here comes George the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.'
'Hello, George!', said the Catholic Priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'

George the greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'

The group fell silent for a moment.

The Catholic Priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'

The Indian Doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them.'

The Chinese Businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire-fighters in honor of these brave souls'

The Aussie says." Why cant they Fucken play at Night...

[jonnywombat]

I hate golf.. but one of my all time favorite jokes involves it..

A golf nut vicar has been unable to get out on the course for weeks, every time he arranges a round with his friends, a member of his flock calls him with a problem and he has to cancel....

One Sunday morning he is getting up, and looking out the window he sees it is the most glorious day, with ideal golfing conditions.. Feeling he is due,and knowing the curate can handle things at the church services, he rings in sick, and then heads out for the golf course..

He drives 100 miles to get to a course where there is absolutely no chance of anyone he knows being there, he get out his clubs and hits the tees....

As he approaches the 7th hole, (a dog leg par 3), Jesus looks down from heaven and spot the vicar just about to tee off...

"God God look at that", says jesus, pointing out the vicar.. "He's playing golf, when he should be leading his flock"....

I'll show him says God and the points his omnipotent finger at the golfer...

The vicar hits the ball, slicing it badly, it bounces off a tree, hits a passing bird, hits the top of the flag, and spirals down the pole and into the cup for a hole in one.....

"I thought you were going to punish him" said Jesus to God.. "how's that punishing him, it's the most unbelievable shot ever"...

"exactly" God replies, " and who is he going to tell?"

[grotbag]

They're finally together

She married and had 13 children. Then her husband died.

She married again and had 7 more children.

Again, her husband died.

She remarried a third time and had 5 more children.
After a long life, she finally died after having 25 children

Standing before her coffin, the priest prayed for her.
He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said,
' Lord, they're finally together.'

One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, ' Do you think he means her first, second or third husband? '


The friend replied, ' I think he means her legs.'